Fun in Age

As we get older, there are a multitude of things we have to cope with. The loss of a spouse, friends, and whether or not you have children and grandchildren around. We end up being alone. But why? I am a daughter of a father who suffers from Oculopharangeal Muscular Dystrophy. He also lost his wife, my mother, this year to cancer. But not just that, he lost friends and continues to lose friends that were once a part of everyday life. I remember growing up with all my parent's friends, who they met through a ski club, and their kids. It honestly is amazing looking back at all the memories created with 2nd generations. Yet as we get older, we start to lose sight of that. The memories we once held so close drift from us. As we get older, some slow down and can't do the same things they used to be able to do. And for those elderly who never want to leave their home because they designed and built it, an acceptance happens mentally. Yet, you are aware of what you can't do and what you can do physically. You fight the changes. You want the house you have lived in your whole life to remain as it did when you built it, and since your wife passed. For the kids, you want to help. But how, when there is so much resistance? So many of us, focus on the purpose of change rather than how it will look. Change can be happy rather than take happiness away.

My father knows his limits. He needs a wheelchair to get out of the house, but he refuses. He didn't want a ramp that would be not only an eye sore but a constant visual reminder of his limitations. He is an old school farmer who is incredibly stubborn. I joke with him about putting in a track on the ceiling that would have a hammock attached. The hammock would remain under him and when he needed to go somewhere it would carry him to his destination by a handheld remote control. He laughs when we talk about silliness. Then I had an idea. I built him a ramp. No, I built him two. But I didn't just make them wooden and plain, I made them into art. A gift from me to him. When he sees it, he sees it as a gift a picture I created for him. Yes, it is on the floor, but it is a sunset over water he sees and truly it looks like a carpet. His grandchildren chose to decorate the second one. They used their hands and left him a message. These visual signs of his limitation are no longer viewed that way but rather a gift and reminder of his life. Life is about beauty. It doesn't have to get boring and routine as we age. Why can't we make aging fun and exciting again?